NBD

How do I love nbd? Let me count the ways.
I love nbd for its speed in read and write
My database can reach, and flex its might
The sysadmin can retire, in peace and grace.
I love nbd to the level that ever bonnie++
Benchmarks in write, read, and re-write
I love nbd freely, as men strive for right
I love nbd purely, as it's saved me from fuss
I love nbd with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love nbd with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love nbd with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love nbd better after I hammer my freeking server into a pretzel.

Note: Man, I was gonna all be clever with copying How do I Love Thee?, but that poem -sucks-, I mean, really. It's just bad.